I grew up in a family of seven – mother, father, uncle, one brother and two sisters. I had a very pleasant and protected childhood, with many good memories and little or no knowledge of the changes that would take place within myself and outside myself.

I went to work with my two uncles- a pleasant time – involving hard work which I enjoyed. However, this period was tarnished with sadness. My uncle, who was like a second father to me, arrived at my home one morning, obviously feeling very ill. He literally sat in the chair and died. What a shock. It was my first experience of death, not to mention sudden death. I was shattered as were all my family, it was so unexpected. My physical and mental health suffered drastically for a long time.

Again work was my redeemer and I changed jobs to where I remained until I retired. Around this time my life took a turn for the better. I met a young lady and we “clicked” – we had a fantastic time together. But sadly it ended all too quickly, which left me feeling all too empty.

Following that I threw myself into building a house with help from my brother, as well as holding down my job. But alas, tragedy struck. One day near the site there was a tragic accident involving a child whose father worked with us. This was just a horrific time to live through. Everything really stopped when I injured my back from working on the house. No sooner had I recovered from the back injury, then I developed a skin allergy from using the cement.

Life was a daily struggle again for a long time. Then I lost my parents who died within a year of each other – they had been quite ill. I was not prepared for the finality of losing someone so close.

Following my father’s death I became quite ill. I developed a severe bronchitis which left me with no energy and extreme tiredness. To stand out of bed was a big effort. My immune system was down to zero and of course my mental state played havoc. It left me stressed, anxious and fearful.

Coming around gradually, but still looking for something more I heard Mike Watts on radio one day and was quite encouraged by what he had to say. So I attended GROW. I found it difficult to understand the real message in the beginning and many times had doubts about carrying on. Thankfully I persevered. Before joining GROW my life was just a routine of going to work and returning home. But 12th step work helped change that. I enjoyed the company of other GROW members on outings or just meeting them for a cup of tea.

Over the twelve years that I have been in GROW it has given me back the confidence and self-esteem I had lost and also the knowledge and skills to deal with the ups and downs of everyday life. My attitude to life has changed. Instead of looking at the glass half empty, I now see it as being half full. As the old proverb states – “we all experience the birds of sorrow, but we don’t let them nest in our hair”.

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